Shit. SHIT. The worst possible scenario happened.
I thought to myself as I sat on the floor cradling my head.
Is there a hotel nearby?
I asked the security guard at the airport train station. It was almost midnight in Seattle. I couldn’t find Feet Dude, and he wasn’t answering my texts.
I told myself I would check in a hotel, rent a car the next day, and make the most of it by exploring Seattle alone. It was only for two nights.
But before I gave up all hope, I had the security guard use my iPhone to call Feet Dude. (#Deafproblems) Maybe he fell asleep? Got lost?
Sure enough, we missed each other in the airport in arrivals and my texts weren’t coming through. I saw him running down the corridor a few minutes later when he found out where I was. For a fleeting moment, it was very Prince Charming to the Rescue.
But…You went out there for a second date?
Yes. Even if Feet Dude and me no longer talk, I have no regrets.
He’s from Chicago and we met a few days before he left for a medical school rotation in Seattle for five weeks.
Our first date rocked.
He showed up having already studied the ABC’s in ASL and quite a few conversational signs. I was stunned. Our conversation flowed, we laughed and one hour later we ended up on the pool deck of the Raddison Blu drinking champagne all day with my friends (I was staying there for my birthday weekend).
It was just…easy.
Plus, I believe in chasing adventure. I advocate spontaneity and want to meet people who are a little ballsy like that. Plus, I didn’t really want to wait five weeks. Boring.
When we stayed in touch during his rotation, he was in awe of the mountains and his hikes. I figured it provided an ideal atmosphere for a second date.
So I put out feelers to see if he could keep up: “Imagine if we had our second date in Seattle….what a story it would be!”
He was game.
Strength and stamina will take you places
Six days later, we were hiking a 6,000+ ft mountain. Absolutely breathtaking. Afterwards, I wrote “Don’t be a Bystander: Lift to Get the Life You Crave.”
The backdrop and activity for the weekend was the epitome of the idea of lifting to live and lead. Being fit allowed so much activity to happen, including my mentality to handle a spur-of-the-moment trip.
I don’t know why I didn’t admit it earlier…I guess some people would call me bonkers…but I have no shame!
Even if we didn’t workout, I am grateful for:
- The opportunity to travel
- His spontaneous attitude
- Restoring belief and fueling my patience that there are men out there who will want to communicate with me in every way possible.
I can lip read pretty well and I think I use my voice pretty well (until I get told I sound funny, like I have a cold or an accent, then I start f*cking with them and make them guess what country I hail from)…
Signing is more nuanced. I can’t express as much emotion or personality through my voice. My body and expressions are raw, pure and empty of BS.
When the hearing person learns, signing just gives them a whole extra layer that allow me to see – not hear – who they are, and it’s an incredibly bonding experience.
Not to mention it makes other things a lot easier, like being able to talk with less barriers, whether’s it’s hiking or in bed when it’s kind of dark!
Seriously, though, I do get scared sometimes that I won’t meet someone who will genuinely want – not feel obliged – to learn sign but Feet Dude gave me reason to not fear as much. I used to feel guilty for wanting the other person to learn, but I don’t now.
What are the dating gains (lessons) here?
Don’t worry so much about the outcome.
I knew there was no guarantee of a third date and I could get hurt.
However, if I didn’t go, I would break one of my beastmaking commandments to chase adventure and knowledge. I’ve could missed out all I gained. Months later, I smile when I remember the beautiful hike, laugh about how I lied to my parents, and have restored belief in what I can find in the future.