You know these cute cardboard Advent calendars that come with a milk chocolate piece for each day? Love them.
It gave me a wild idea…
On Wednesday November 30th, late at night, I glared at my phone screen and declared:
“I’m giving up swiping for Advent!”
I joked about this idea a few days earlier because I found it amusing but also because, as much as I’ve gained in dating, I was kind of annoyed.
Nothing just seemed to last.
I stopped swiping a bit ago when Wolverine and I were hanging out, but when it didn’t evolve into anything more, I had mixed feelings about starting again.
So I decided to experiment. I was curious to see what I would gain from 25 days of no swiping. A “self-imposed break,” as one of my clients put it. I called it a distraction-free zone.
Temptation grew the first week as I started to see Bumble as a place where wonder and adventure awaited.
What you can’t have, you desire even more.
I didn’t bite. Ok, one time. Only once, I swear!
I was sipping whiskey one night with my buddies and when they started to play video games, I got bored (I can handle Mortal Kombat and Mario Kart…that’s about it).
Ignoring my guilt, I swiped for a few minutes before I stopped myself. I remember groaning and tossing my phone away.
I matched with a few gents, but I let the time run out. (For those who aren’t on Bumble, the app gives females 24 hours to make the first move, and if I don’t, the opportunity to connect vanishes.)
That counts, right? I didn’t fail my experiment…
Anyway, a few more days passed, and temptation faded. I started to notice a couple things.
Our free time is when we grow the most
I commute a LOT.
I make the most of it. I write, study, read for pleasure, laugh at memes, catch up on texts, and of course, swipe. Swiping usually happened when I ran out of brainpower and needed a distraction.
Bumble was a virtual bar in my hands and I liked the chit-chat.
Without Bumble, I gained a deeper appreciation for the distraction-free zone. I make sure to carry the latest edition of Men’s Health, Outside magazine or a book in my bag. My commute time became richer.
So what did I do as soon as I got the freedom to swipe again?
Uh, I went for it!
But you know what? It isn’t as appealing. Since it’s ‘holidaze’ when you don’t know what day it is between Christmas and New Years, I have the extra time to swipe but I liked how it was before. I’ve been reading, studying, watching movies, and writing this week.
How we spend our down time could accelerate or impede our mental health and business growth.
I choose accelerate. One of my pillars for performance in 2017.
These adventures, tho!
Beastmaking principe #11 says to chase knowledge and adventure. Am I staying in my comfort zone if I quit swiping?
Rational Anne says: “Delete the account and brave the wild. New people will continue to appear in your path.”
I completely agree, but…
As I reflect, I don’t see a right or wrong.
We don’t need a fresh start, we just build on what we’ve learned. I actually think I’ve grown to love myself more through the turbulence of dating.
It is healthy to explore: I’ll likely swipe again but I love myself enough to focus on my growth even more. New people surround us every day, and as long we stay open minded, we can’t go wrong.