“Your dating blog…where has it been?” Dan John asked.
“Yeah, I really enjoyed reading those!” Someone else chimed in.
I perked up in my seat and exclaimed, “I haven’t had any dates! What am I supposed to do? Write about not dating?”
But I knew the answer as soon as I asked.
I leaned back to take a sip of my beer. We were at the Haymarket taproom in Southwest Michigan following his strength and conditioning clinic.
If you told me one year ago I would write about dating, I would have laughed in your face. Turns out, they are the most fun to write. I don’t have to stress about the right headline, the length, keywords, whether people would like and follow my advice, etc. etc.
The trainer/business side of me doesn’t take over and you get to know me a little more.
However, I debated with this for a hot minute.
I like being honest but some days it takes guts. Still, I always like to say: “Have no shame” (in regards to who I am, what I stand for, my feelings).
I do believe writing these stories keeps my confidence levels high, holding me accountable to the previous statement.
Plus, it’s my way of trying to build a connection to you guys. Someone emailed me last week to say thanks for “keeping it real.” It made my day and I need to keep it up.
With that said, what the hell? Let’s catch up.
Where I am in my ‘Fit in the City’ journey?
After my ’25 days of no swiping’ experiment, I decided to avoid swiping for several reasons.
One, I loved less ‘noise’ in my life. More time for personal development, books, TV and nerding out.
Then, in February, I had some time off and wanted to do something spontaneous. I asked my friend (who I met through fitness, go figure) who had just moved to Vegas if he’d be my vacation date, and while it was a fun trip, we were better off as friends.
Also, to be honest, Wolverine left a lasting impression that I couldn’t shake off. I really enjoyed my time with him. So I needed more time to digest.
To top things off, have you seen what the guys do with their profiles? #Facepalm
I sift through a lot of these:
- Blank profiles. Nothing written. (Just…come on, man.)
- Awkward selfies (Mirror ones are the worst.)
- Laundry lists. I like this, this and that. (How creative. It’s just…I write, create and develop ideas, so I’m drawn to a profile when the person puts a little thought in, even if it’s just a couple of sentences, because then I think we have a better chance of conversation with substance.)
- Bios that literally consist of one sentence: “Just ask!” (Lazy and fabulous, isn’t he?)
- “Looking for something serious.” (I appreciate it but it makes me wonder if they will be rushed. You can’t force chemistry. I will not date for the sake of ‘having someone.’)
If I have trouble falling asleep, I could just swipe. It puts me to sleep.
By the way, for anyone who needs to update their bio, I urge you to check out Alexandra Frazen for writing prompts. Especially this one.
So, yes, I’ve been comfortable being solo.
Change of Pace
I went to D.C. end of March to visit a good friend from my college days. I thought it would be fun to have a D.C. local be my tour guide while my friends were at work. If I could find one!
I downloaded Bumble again.
I updated my bio to make it clear I was just visiting and would be happy to befriend someone interesting. I think apps can work well when you’re traveling, if you’re lucky enough to find someone who also enjoys meeting new people for the sake of…well, just meeting people and exchanging ideas. It makes the world go around!
Swipe, snore, small talk, swipe….then there was Kicks. His nickname is based on the fact he has 30+ sweet pairs of shoes.
Kicks introduced me to Compass Coffee, the brainchild of two former marines, and it was marvelous. He guided me around his neighborhood as we chatted, mostly about following our passions. I was thankful to just meet a kind and curious gentleman without the pressure of “where is this going!?”
The Gains to be Had
After I met Kicks, I realized I had been too comfortable with NOT trying to meet people.
What’s a girl gotta do to meet interesting people in today’s world? Romantic, platonic, intellectual, whatever – it’s all good for us.
I just started thinking about volunteering, maybe by offering a bootcamp with a cause, after I fell in love with One Tail at a Time, a dog shelter on Instagram. I could try a new class. Swipe occasionally. Maybe see if Bumble will sponsor my traveling, since that seems to work better? 😉
Like with lifting, it’s OK to do what works for a while…and when we start to wonder where the gains are, we know it’s time to change up things.
In the name of beastmaking, keep an eye on your own plateaus!